I now have accounts on Gaia online, neopets, WoW, and a bunch of others I just deleted. But it gets better
I'm getting the onstar vehicle reports for a 2009 Chevrolet Traverse owned by a mr. Danial Cude in Thornhill, Ontario. Hes driven 12,960 Km (Canada doesn't use miles?) has XM satellite radio, and his oil has 84% of its service life remaining.
He bought it at North York Chevrolet. It actually looks like I can deflate his tires by remote control.